Time Affluence is Like a Vacation Every Day
The best vacations are all about time affluence, when you have the time to make all sorts of discoveries and detours yet somehow end up exactly where you want to be. Life can be like that, too.
Time affluence is when you feel like you have enough time to relax or pursue meaningful activities. Time poverty is when you feel stressed because you are constantly rushing, and feel you never can catch up. Harvard University lecturer Tal Ben-Shahar discusses the concept of time affluence in his book Happier.
I’ve been rich on experiences in my life, even when I was short on cash. And I’ve been flush with cash, but short on time. Of the two, I prefer being time affluent. That’s when my memories were made.
Starting Out
When I was 17.5 years old, I left my family home with four pairs of socks and two Shetland wool sweaters. All of my belongings fit into half of the backseat of a Volkswagen Beetle because I had reduced my possessions to only those things I paid for myself. 
At that time, I thought that it would take me another 17.5 years to become a fully formed adult who had a good grasp on life. But when I turned 35, I realized that it might take me another 35 years to reach that goal.
At what age did you expect to have it all figured out?
Growing Into Time Affluence
When I was 19, I moved to the city. I had $70 to my name and a brand-new pair of four-inch high, black pumps which turned out to be surprisingly practical. Those shoes dressed up vintage store bargains and clearance rack finds for a decade. Glitter from a memorable Year’s Eve party was permanently embedded in their lining.
I wouldn’t say I was time affluent during at that age because I was working my way through college, but the memories I made didn’t require a lot of money.
Then I entered corporate life which gave me a level of financial security, but having more things didn’t make me happier. What I needed was more time, more experiences.
After much soul searching, I left the USA for life abroad with only three suitcases—the most I could carry by myself. Each time I moved to a new continent, I paired down my possessions to three suitcases and built a home around the measuring cups and cotton curtains I carried with me. This was a period of great time affluence for me. There was just enough money, just enough time, and just enough vision to realize many of my life goals. 
Dig Deeper Wells
Despite experiencing great happiness with each personal re-invention, I began to feel that maybe I wasn’t mature enough, that I needed to have more proof that I was making good life decisions. Other people my age had homes, children, cars, careers. I had an education and some amazing memories.
Sitting among the bougainvillea and hummingbirds in Ecuador a young French woman named Laura told me, “You’ve been digging a lot of little wells. You have to stop and dig deeper wells if you’re ever going to find water.”
It was time to return home and really dig into life.
Having a Garage-Door Opener Made Me Feel Like a Grown Up
Not many people successfully navigate two mid-life crises. My first crisis sent me out in the world; the second one brought me back to a more conventional life.
As a self-invented person, I didn’t have a lot of guidance on how to acquire things like a house. My career in the corporate world stabilized once I returned stateside, but I still lived fairly simply compared to my friends. One day I was taking the el train—passing through mile after mile of homes and condos— when it occurred to me that someone owned every building out there. Tens of thousands of properties were owned by people and not just rich people. I could figure this out.
Before I knew it, I had a cute house of my own with a rental unit to help pay the mortgage. The thing that really blew my mind was the garage-door opener. That, to me, was real success because friends who owned condos didn’t even have garage door openers. Never mind that I didn’t own a car yet; I had arrived.
Using Possessions to Validate Status
I threw myself into decorating the house that winter. In the spring, I moved on to the yard where I grew a huge vegetable garden and ate dinner under a grape-covered pergola. There was a small library with floor-to-ceiling built-in bookshelves, a guest room, a cheery yellow office, and a garden full of flowers and furniture.
It was a house to be proud of, to be sure, but it took so much effort to clean and maintain. Word of advice here: do NOT ever, ever, ever, install shiny dark floors.
I had an interesting career with a lot of travel, a cute house, a garage door opener, and retirement savings. At long last I had a place in the world and life was good.
Maybe you are at this same stage of your life. You work because you’re responsible, but the responsibilities require more and more work.
The Water Bill That Woke Me Up
The effort to maintain a 120-year-old house took all my time (and my boyfriend’s spare time if I’m honest). Shoveling snow. Pulling weeds. Supervising contractors. It seemed like all I did was work. My relationships suffered. I worried constantly about job security and losing my house. Home repairs kept piling up. My stuff had become my life.
Then I got a $700 water bill. A plumber identified a loose toilet valve as the culprit—a twenty dollar fix I could have done myself if I hadn’t been so busy traveling for work.
“What if this happens when I’m on a fixed income?” I thought as I paid the water bill. Would I be able to pay $700 then?
Panic kicked into overdrive.
Retirement Wasn’t Possible
Like many of you, I thought I might never be able to retire. Those years abroad had not contributed towards my 401k. I was saving, but I didn’t think I could ever catch up. There was no way I could cover the mortgage, utilities, home repairs, and basic life expenses on social security and my meager savings. At one point, I refinanced the house and knocked ten years off my mortgage, but paying the loan off before retirement was still a pipe dream.
Even though the FIRE movement was getting a lot of press, I thought I was too old to benefit from the advice. My house was a good investment, especially once I found great tenants. There was no way I could find a cheaper house in the city. This was the best I could do.
The Lure Of Less
Then two things happened. First, I joined a book group. Two of the women hosted book nights in their high-rise condos. The rooms were big. There was a lot light. The condos were chic and the owners didn’t have to shovel snow or take out the garbage. Hmm.
Second, I read an article about people who were trying to reach Financial Independence so they could Retire Early (FIRE). One young woman said that she had bought a small, one-bedroom condo in an unfashionable neighborhood.
A light went off. 
An Unfashionable Neighborhood
Developers had been gobbling up homes in my area and flipping them at sky-high prices. Because I had bought at the tail end of the recession, my house had appreciated a lot. By comparing homes on Zillow, I thought I could make a 50% profit. A little math showed how much equity I might be able to apply towards a small condo. Zillow also revealed which neighborhoods had condos in my meager price range. Once I realized that I could be mortgage free, I was committed.
It was hard work getting the house ready to sell, tricky to sell it, and difficult to find a new place to live. Hard work for months on end.
Attaining Time Affluence
So much of my identity was wrapped up in that house, too. I had gone from three suitcases to three floors. The last few days before the closing I cried a lot. A good friend of mine kept telling me, “Don’t worry. This is the right decision. You won’t miss the house. You’ll see.”
No need to go into detail here, but I ended up with a sweet condo that has big rooms, a balcony, and the all important garage-door opener. My friend was right. I don’t miss the house at all.
What I’ve gained in exchange is immeasurable: peace of mind knowing that my home is fully paid for. Now I’ll be able to retire because my monthly expenses are so low and I have zero debt, not just zero credit card debt, ZERO debt. I’ve become time affluent, too. I have time to swim now, and write. I invite company over more often because it doesn’t take a century for me to clean these floors. Time affluence re-entered my life.
That book group? Well, several of the women have become my good friends because I now have the time to invest in relationships.
The young woman with the small condo? I’ve searched for the article, but haven’t been able to find it again. Funny how little things can change your life.
Big Little Life
Looking back, I can see that my biggest life-changing moves were accomplished with minimal baggage. Living an epic life on a small scale is my comfort zone. I don’t regret owning the house, after all it was that investment that got me here. What I do regret is how much of myself was invested in things when I should have been investing in people. 
Paradoxically, spending more money also meant spending more valuable time earning that money and taking care of the things I bought. Having less money gave me more time and a much better quality of life.
Are You Ready for Less?
Take a look around you. If you are like most responsible adults, you have spent the last couple decades checking off boxes of milestones you’ve achieved. Home, children, cars, businesses, careers, education, and experiences. Which of those achievements really enriched you? Which have weighed you down?
You might not have started out as humbly as I did, but I’m telling you—too much crap can trap you. If you have a goal that you think is unattainable, what’s keeping you from it? If it’s your possessions, you can open up options for yourself by scaling your life to fit within that new goal. I wanted to retire, but it wasn’t possible if I stayed on the treadmill (or as I think of it: in the zoo). 
- Might a simpler lifestyle give you more time for family and friends?
- Could lower expenses pave the way towards a more stable retirement?
- Would downshifting allow you to look for more meaningful work?
- How would less stress improve your health? Would you live longer, sleep better?
Conclusion
If your lifestyle was built for one purpose and that phase has passed, what do you need to take with you into the next glorious phase of your life and what can you let go?
I really, really, want to help you struggle less. Rethinking how to resize your life to fit a new goal is incredibly powerful. Wouldn’t you like time affluence?
Look around you.
- What one thing can you let go of today because it isn’t helping you towards your next goal?
- What was your garage-door opener—the thing that made you feel you’d arrived in life?
